Your survival hinges on the rope staying intact, there is no one
around to help you. What to do now ............
write your answer before your scroll down....
Scroll down for answer...
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Sing a Happy Birthday song.
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Howzzzzzz that!!!!!!!
* you lust for O'Reilly books.
* you know that "goto considered harmful".
* you are looking for the "else" at the end of this joke.
* you believe that making a wrong program worse is no sin.
* every combination of three letters is a meaningful acronym for you.
* when you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
* you can remember seventeen computer passwords but not your anniversary.
* you are sure that the year 2000 is a leap year, and know why it is dangerous.
* you start laughing hysterically when the topic of computer reliability is brought up.
* you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in hexadecimal.
* the language you are best speaking is English, but the language you are best writing is Java.
* in vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
7. Users find 137 new bugs.
8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
12. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.
13. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free...
There was a gentleman walking with two heavy suitcases in an airport
Terminal. Someone approached and asked him what time it was. The
gentleman bends down to park the two heavy suitcases and stare at his
watch. But this was no ordinary watch! He touches a tiny button and his
administrative assistant's face appears.
He asks her, "Mary, what time is it?" Mary answers instantly and with a
smile!
The questioner is thoroughly impressed!!!
He asks, "What kind of a watch is that?"
"It's like a TV with two-way real-time communication," the gentleman
explains. He adds that the watch is the latest technology with Intel's
brand new 128-bit chip with processor speed of 10 Gigahertz.
The onlooker is now quite impressed and wanted to know if he could buy
this watch from the gentleman. They agree on a heavy price and the cash
was handed immediately. The gentleman takes his watch out and hands it
over and then walks away.
The new owner stares at the two heavy suitcases and shouts, "Sir, you
forgot your suitcases."
The gentleman stops, smiles, and replies, "No, they are yours now. They
are the modems you always need to carry for your new watch.
